Five Nights at Cobson's

THIS PAGE CONTAINS SPOILERS!

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'em in the making

FNAC
Release date	October 31st, 2023 (Demo) May 27th, 2024 (Release)
soyjak.party board	/fnac/
Booru posts	14 As of October 7th, 2023
Parody of	Five Nights at Freddy's
Website	Demo (pre-release): https://soyjak.party/fnac.html Gamebanana(Full game): https://gamebanana.com/mods/516716
Engine	Unity

Five Nights at Cobson's is an absolutely spine chilling genre defining bone tingling aryan slow burn terrifying jumpscare 'jak driven atmosphere oozing a24 released trope subverting dark and eerie gut wrenching aesthetically heavy craft gradual escalation soul shaking dread inducing post horror suspenseful build up a “say more with less” approach blood curdling kino keyed nerve wracking nail biting jaw clenching free of cheap gore kuz, soot, doll and froot approved snopes verified reuters verified ‘zellig free coal killing TND beginning cobson loving troon -ACKing fauci approved pro science truth uncovering jannie decimating glowie zapping vtuber chudding schizophrenic 4cuck killing shitter crashing discoal erasing ‘coinslot closing NAS free anti meds soylent free wholesome pupperino west rising heavenly holy sharty saving IAS gemerald horror game revolving around keeping numerous 'jaks contained at the mental asylum.

It is a clone of Five Nights at Freddy's that replaces the animatronics with soyjaks. Feraljak, Squirreljak, Impjak, Markiplier Soyjak, Fingerboy, and troonjak are in the game (in the demo). Doll is the phone guy. The game is currently being developed by Froot alongside several 'teens. According to chuddubs, the game has been completed but the release has been delayed because Froot is a tax evading kike and keeps getting cockblocked during Steam's tax info verification process, Eventually froot gave up with steam and delayed the game. To this day the game has not come out on steam and likely will never release there. However it does mean that the game would be free now.

Artist's depiction of the behind-the-scenes development of Five Nights at Cobson's.

Early reviews indicate it's difficult but may be the gem that saved the sharty.

Five Nights at Cobson's does NOT contain spyware/malware. You WILL take your Meds, nigger.

On the 27th of May Five nights at Cobson's released being a free download instead of paid like froot intended.

(((Removal by itch.io)))

Itch.io has in the past hosted Antifa Game Jams, so left-wing biases in moderation staff would be at least somewhat prevalent. Clearly some Janny was traumatized by the distasteful portrayal of a valid transfolk -ACK!ing xirself, and decided to delete the game to prevent other BIPOC folx from getting PTSD from this hateful content.

Both the game and dev account were banned from itch.io on Nov, 7th 2023 for alleged "hate-speech" over, presumably, troonjak. Though, the game is not dead, Froot originally wanted the game to be >paid

and that it's the last free version.

In retaliation for this decision, 'teens promptly raided the official itch.io Discord to avenge their fallen gemerald.

Alternative theories

• In the stickied thread discussing the removal of FNAC from itch.io, Frogniggers promptly started to spam Demoralization Coal, leading some to believe that the Frogposters were involved with the deletion. It's been an observed phenomenon for frogniggers to snitch to streamers during Twitch Raids, meaning that this suspicion isn't unfounded. it was the 'cord actually
• Due to Froot updating the game 6 times in an hour, as well as the game being the account's first project, itch.io flagged the game as malware and shadowbanned the account with no warning, deleting the page and locking Froot out of his account.

(((Removal by gamejolt)))

After its removal from itch.io, it was reposted to gamejolt, where it didn't last long. The reason behind the removal is not clear, but it probably got another janny's ass on fire.

Issues With Steam

In January of 2024, Froot posted a thread to /fnac/ complaining about Steam's hesitancy to greenlight FNAC. Steam's staff had issues with swastikas and the "licensed" soundtrack. The former was banned in Germany, so Froot had to blacklist the country from an uncensored release. The David Thoughie parody was mistaken as licensed music, blocking the greenlight, although Froot has disputed this objection. On top of this, Steam's response times are sluggish, taking several weeks between interactions. This has lead to frustration from both FNAC fans, and from Froot himself. Whether progress has been made, since then, is inconclusive. For these reasons, the never saw a steam release and froot had to release it on gamebanana for free.

Leaked

FNACbros.. Is this really over?

In March 3th of 2024 at the Shemmy. One of the devs decide to leak all the assets files for the game.

The reason:

• 1. It would make Froot angry.

• 2. Its 70% of the reason the game exists, so it's not unethical.
• 3. He's a retard and a nigger.

Cacaborean version

There exists a cacaborean version of the game with gen alpha stuff. its currently free just like the other five nights at cobsons.

Gameplay and Tips

Strategies:

General Strategy

Turn off your camera at the beginning of the game, until the phone call ends, or until you reach 1 A.M.. Simply rely on the flashlight every 10 or so seconds to counter the imp and see who's in the hallway (Make sure to hold down the light button rather than flashing many times like you have A.D.H.D., or you'll wake Feraljak up). Keep feeding squirreljak all the time, every 10 or so seconds. Flash impjak when you see him in the vent (you can see him there even if it's total darkness). To counter vent imp teaming up with Chud, don't flash at the vent with Chud in the room or he'll kill you, simply close the vent door. To counter hallway imp, troon, 'plier, and sometimes fingerboy bothering you while Chud is in the room, simply close the door as soon as you hear Chud enter your room (it's perfectly safe to do that so long as the lights are off), and Chud will open the door on his own when he leaves, allowing you to flash and check for imp without risking it entering the room after Chud. To counter Cobson + any other enemy... Well, not much you can do, just close the vent, feed Nutty, and be patient.

Later Nights

The lights are basically useless in the later nights, their only purpose is so you can open the cameras and check if 'plier is in the generator room (Cam 3A). BE CAREFUL THAT ON NIGHT 5 MARKIPLIER WILL USUALLY CUT THE LIGHT BEFORE THE PHONE CALL EVEN ENDS. Turn on the lights every 10 or so seconds to check on 'plier, then turn them off to save energy, and do the other stuff like flashing the hallway, feeding Nutty, and checking the vents for imp. Don't worry about feraljak, he'll usualy wake up very quickly on later nights no matter what you do.

'Jaks

There are several 'jaks roaming the facility at night, among them:

Squirreljak: This nigga always needs his nuts. Be sure to feed him otherwise he will free Feraljak.

Feraljak: He is sound asleep most of the time. He will however wake up during your shift if you make too much noise by closing doors and using your flashlight. It seems like enemies can also wake him up without you pressing any buttons... Simply check on him every now and then when he makes seething noises click on the tablet (which can be only used once) to send him to sleep again.

Chud: He spawns in the west wing cells, you can see him on Cam 1A. He will then head straight for the hallway. Once in the hallway, he'll check out the janitor closet (Cam 7), then proceed to the doorway, and finally into your room. HE'LL STILL ENTER YOUR ROOM EVEN WITH YOUR DOOR CLOSED! Once in your room, turn off the lights, and don't flash. You should be able to hear his buzzing sound, but be careful, because it's identical to the buzzing sounds made by the Swedish Imp and 'plier. While Chud is in the room, so long as there are no lights, you can still safely turn yourself around to feed Nutty the squirrel, or close the door or the vent. TL;DR: closing the door is useless, instead close the lights.

Swedish Imp: He spawns in the west wing cells (Cam 1A), next to Chud. He is very active, and he can then take two routes: first is through the vents on the right side of the map (Cam 8B and Cam 9), exiting in the janitor closet (Cam 7), and then goes into the doorway, and into your room, producing a buzzing sound identical to Chud and 'plier, without being visible with the lights off; the second route is through the west wing hallway (Cam 1B), the cafeteria (Cam 5), and from there into the vent on the left side of the map (Cam 11), and into the vent in your room, and not producing any buzzing sound, but is still visible with your lights off. The imp is scared by flashing your light, even in the hallway, which is why he doesn't take the longer path from the cafeteria (Cam 5) directly to the hallway like Chud does. The vent imp will also give up and restart its position if you keep the vent door closed in its face for a while. TL;DR: flash your lights at him, or maybe close the vent door.

'plier: He will come into the facility at 2 A.M. in earlier nights, but will be active immediately at 1 A.M. on other difficulties. He spawns in the entrance lobby (Cam 3B). He has the nasty habit of cutting off the power supply in the generator room (Cam 3A), which is right next to his spawn-point. You can prevent that by closing the generator room doors. If 'plier cuts the power, DON'T PANIC! The power will restart itself after a few seconds. Just hope and pray that the imp didn't come into your room in the meantime. If 'plier is not in the generator room messing with your precious electricity, he's probably wandering around random rooms in your facility, taking pictures of the patients. He can also come into your room. In your room, he is benign and doesn't harm you in any way, shape, or form, he just scares you by buzzing and making you think it could be Chud or hallway imp, and leaves after a few seconds, so make sure to check the camera to see if he hasn't gone to the generator room once he left yours. TL;DR: close the Cam 3A doors, don't just quit if he cuts the power.

Fingerboy: It spawns locked in the office of Doctor Soystein Senior, the dark room with the audio log on Cam 4. On that room's audio log, you should hear the noises it makes: gnawing, biting, scratching, chirping. If the room is dead silent, it means it's on the hunt. You can also tell by listening very closely to its distant wails and screeches, but you need your volume up for that. Rarely, you may catch a glimpse of it as it moves through the vents, and figure out its path: It exits Soystein's office through a vent (the fingerboy is the only enemy you'll ever see on Cam 10), then it can randomly exit the vent and attack through the hallway, or it can continue into the vents on cam 11, accompanied by loud stomping noises in the vents. To counter the vent fingerboy is easy: simply close the vent door when you hear its stomps. However, in order to counter the hallway fingerboy, it's more difficult and annoying: the fingerboy is patient, and will often wait until you flash your lights at it, and only THEN jumpscare you. You can hear its very loud screech and maybe you can see its minuscule body running at you if you have good eyesight. For this reason, ALWAYS HOVER YOUR MOUSE ALREADY OVER THE DOOR BUTTON WHEN YOU FLASH THE HALLWAY so that you can quickly close the door in its face. If you closed the door too early and the fingerboy hasn't screeched, it'll just wait until you open the door and flash. THE HALLWAY FINGERBOY ONLY GOES AWAY WHEN YOU TIME IT RIGHT AND SLAM THE DOOR RIGHT IN ITS FACE as it chases you. Also, don't wait for too long, or else it will jumpscare you even when the lights are off. TL;DR: close the vent if you hear stomping, always be ready to close the main door when you flash the hallway.

Troonella: Xe spawns in the entrance lobby (Cam 3B), then moves into the infirmary (Cam Ϫ), then in the hallway, followed by the janitor's closet (Cam 7), then xe goes right at your door, and lastly xe enters your room. Xe doesn't make any buzzing noises (unlike Chud, swede, or 'plier), but xe DOES produce fly noises because xis axe wound is just that filthy. When xe appears in your room simply spam your flashlight on and off. Otherwise, xe will -ACK and you will lose visibility of the hallway for the rest of your night (you can still scare away the hallway imp or trigger the hallway fingerboy into chasing you, but you just won't see them). TL;DR: hides your hallway if you don't flash your lights on and off.

Gemson: He spawns in Night 3 and onwards. Before then, he's locked in his cell that you can see on Cam 2. On the later nights, he either escapes into the main entrance lobby (Cam 3), or he just directly spawns there. He then moves into the infirmary (Cam Ϫ), then in the hallway. He doesn't enter the janny closet. Instead, he'll remain in the hallway, slowly approaching you directly. NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION, because countering him is a bit tricky: when he's at your DOORWAY (right outside of your room), you will hear his heavy steps and you'll also hear his breathing FOR THE FIRST TIME. If you hear these sounds FOR THE FIRST TIME, then he's AT YOUR DOORWAY, NOT IN YOUR ROOM. He'll sometimes wait at the doorway for ~30 seconds. If you don't like his stalling, flashing your lights while he's in the doorway will make him enter the room, so be careful. Be careful about closing the doors on him, because he will knock on them until the power runs out. CLOSE YOUR LIGHTS BEFOREHAND or he'll rape you if he enters a lit room. Also, STAY COMPLETELY MOTIONLESS, and don't press any buttons, and don't turn around (IF YOU'RE NOT FACING THE HALLWAY WHEN HE'S IN YOUR ROOM, HE'LL RAPE YOU). When he enters the room, you'll hear his breathing and heavy footsteps FOR A SECOND TIME, but you won't hear any buzzing, unlike Chud, imp, or 'plier. However, Cobson will leave your room much like Chud would, it's just that he'll wait a little longer than Chud when in your room, so long as your lights are closed and you're looking straight ahead at the hallway. As he exits, you'll hear his heavy footsteps FOR A THIRD AND FINAL TIME, and it's safe to open the lights again. Because surviving Cobson is complicated and takes time, it's advised to close the vent and feed Nutty preemptively, before he enters your room, so you won't get jumpscared by Feraljak, vent imp, or vent fingerboy, and also check on 'plier beforehand so he won't cut your power. For whatever reason, you may see him in Feraljak's cell for a while, and then he'll return to either his cell on Cam 2 or directly to the main entrance lobby on Cam 3. One more thing, rarely, you may see him disguised with the skin ripped off from Doll's face. This disguised version of Cobson will behave a little differently: when the door is closed on him, he won't knock at it and deplete power, rather, he'll simply wait there and politely ask you to open the door for him, while trying to mimic Doll's voice and verbal tics such as "lil' buddy", but in Cobson's characteristic low-pitched distorted voice. TL;DR: Lights off, stay motionless, look straight ahead at the hallway, make sure you can differentiate whether he's in the room or in the doorway, flash him if he's stalling at the hallway for too long, and listen for his breathing, and prepare for other 'jaks ruining your night while you're busy with Cobson.

the origin story
>give cake to the children or whatever
>i need to kill 8 year old children because i'm fazbaryan or something

Easter Eggs

Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards created by the CIA. Proceed with caution.

• Cobson will jumpscare you if you type "hwnbag" on your keyboard. This will break the game if you do it in the main menu.

• Tranny will jumpscare (You) if (You) type "ywnbaw" on your keyboard on the 2nd night.
• Thoughjak has a chance of appearing in the generator room instead of plier.
• Pointing your mouse at the /calm/ poster and typing "calm" will trigger a relaxing cutscene.
• Wholesome Soyjak has a low chance of appearing on cams.
• Typing "1488" on your numpad when you see Chudjak will trigger an alternative chudjak game over scene.
• Sometimes, the sticky notes on (You)r desk will have a random set of six numbers. If (You) view each security cam corresponding to each number, you WILL receive a call. Answering this call will reward (You) with some morse code, which translates out to "SAVE COBSON". After the call concludes, (You) will be rewarded with the "Marge?" award. It is unknown if the numbers can appear after receiving it.
• Nikocado's coinslot has a one in one million chance of popping in your screen at any moment in the game. It will crash the game shortly after
• To get Kuz's hat, wall-jump in the hole in the ceiling in the minigame from night 5, and go to the box.
• Sometimes the note on your desk that's a picture of the sweede will be a code. This code are acutally camera codes that you are suppose to click in order to trigger a secret morse code phone-call. Some nerd decoded it and it says "SAVE COBSON"
• Sometimes Squireljak can randomly die. its unknown why this happens

The Lore or something

In FNAC you play as Dr. Soyer, real name: Michael Soystein, older brother of Dave Soystein and Elizabeth Soystein, son of Dr. William Soystein and Clara Soystein. Fending off against the various amounts of schizophrenic patients in the soysylum. Now you may be asking, why did Michael Soystein decide to work at a place like this? Well of course, he needs shekels to pay off the debt on his blacked.com premium subscription.

Five Nights at Cobson's Let's Players

Face of ultraden playing cobsons. notice his absolutely spine chilling terrifying face

The following are a list of JewTubers who have played Five Nights at Cobson's. You WILL show them support.

Ultradan

Although he's a filthy black baboon nigger from the deepest jungle, he singlehandly proves that PND may not be so bad after all. His gameplay is spinechilling and one of the gems that saved the party of '87.

*After inspection, our peer-reviewed studies have shown that Ultraden is not a soyteen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ZNeJUZ0xo`

Sadly he removed his Let's play and the video is simply a reupload.

Hunterrules0_o The King of Five Nights at Cobson's

hunterrules inhaling hrt and meds

I love this queen` but he made a JewTube video on it slandering the game(proof for this baseless claim?). It's confirmed he's a worthless tranny.

however xes admitted that xes never playing cobsons again and that froot refused to give xim a key

Make sure to ignore xhim and stop giving xhim more clout.

He returned to Five nights at cobsons to become the next game theory and dissect the game. Decoding a morse code message in the game and confirmed he will make a part 3, liking the game.

Mr L.

notice his shining gemerald smile. only a true king is worthy to be called the king of five nights at Cobsons BLASPHEMY

Quite possibly one of the most faggot teens on the site. Being an actual teen, and is considered the King of Five Nights at Cobson's BLASPHEMY. Also, quite possibly the most beautiful transman I've ever glanced on. (If she is biological woman I may just got a chance teens Im gonna use my W rizz alright?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23YDadmMLVY

WeedCereal

Literal babyjak who made a video on the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JsFxT_7zjs&t=69s

Turkey Tom

The largest streamer we got to play the game so far as well as a fellow chud albeit he referred to 'jaks as (((wojaks))) in the first few minutes of the video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRdxhflKJj8

Be aware that turkey tom makes jewtube slop

Solucix_jx

A streamer that was convinced to play the game by some 'teens during a twitch raid thread. Unlike the other pajeet from the thread who couldn't even beat night 1, he actually beat the entire game soon after he started playing.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KmCTBkwEFto

Andre Live

A small jewtube streamer that, just like solucix_jx, was raided by 'teens from the weekly twitch raiding thread. Not only did 'teens get him to play FNAC, but they also introduced him to the sharty, with Andre saying he has went there off stream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsH0_kv0wP8&t=22202s (he starts playing it at 2:20:30)

Screenshots

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Links

• Full release: https://soyjak.party/fnac.html
• Steam release (cancelled): https://store.steampowered.com/app/2709910/Five_Nights_at_Cobsons/
• Jumpscares (demo): https://youtube.com/watch?v=BNvcDu3BEOc