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Nintendo
This article is critical of Nintendo. If you are feeling frustrated and angry while reading this article, please take your soylent and ADHD medication and call your wife's bull for some talk therapy.
Nintendo is a Japanese video goy developer and publisher. They are mainly known for the critically-acclaimed masterpieces series Mario and The Legend Of Zelda. Soyjaks and real-life Soy Boys alike will always defend Nintendo's actions no matter how controversial, such as when Nintendo sold an unaltered version of Super Mario 64 (a game from 1996) for $60 in 2017, sold sets of cardboard for $80 and sued or threatened legal action against their own fans hundreds of times for such heinous crimes as: emulating their game consoles[1]; sharing ROMs of 40 year old games (most of which you can't even buy legally anywhere)[2]; hosting Super Smash Bros tournaments[3]; making custom joycon shells[4]; uploading video game OSTs to youtube[5]; and many, many more. Nintendo fanboys are especially concerned with copyright infringement since (You) Illegally downloading an NES game will bankrupt their favorite multibillion dollar company. In fact, there have been multiple cases when nintendofags tried to organize mass reporting and harrassment campaigns against nintendo console emulators.
Due to Soyjak's rejection of religion in favor of the science, he has turned to worshipping multi-billion dollar corporations like Nintendo and Disney as such, with this loyalty often stemming from: "THEY FORMED MY CHILDHOOD!", despite thus exhibiting the "cult-like" behavior he accuses religious fundamentalists of. Except out of loyalty toward children's toy brands rather than faith.
Like pottery, Nintendo is quite circlejerked over on 4chan's /v/, in which such fans often skirmish with Sony fans (Playstation brand consoomers) over who can prove their lifeless corporate bugman worship through "no u" 'jakking pictures targeted at each other. An entertaining display.
Also, the Virtual Boy and the Wii are the only good Nintendo consoles.
The Tendie[edit | edit source]
The Tendie is a particularly unique breed of Soy Boy, posters residing within the barbarous, console war-torn wasteland known only as Slash Vee Slash. The tendie is immunized against all dangers: One may call him a manchild, a pedophile, a parasite, a tranny, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a tendie, and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: "I’ve been found out!".
History of 'tendo[edit | edit source]
The Playing Card Era[edit | edit source]
Nintendo was founded on 23 September 1889 by craftsman Fusajiro Yamauchi in Shimogyō-ku, Kyoto, Japan, as an unincorporated establishment, to produce and distribute Japanese playing cards.
This era held all the way up to 1969, because the playing card sales were declining. Hiroshi Yamauchi became the next president.
Toy Era[edit | edit source]
After this, 'tendo began to manufacture toys, trinkets, and other miscellany, ultimately creating a Pong clone named Color TV-Game, and Game & Watch handhelds.
They even created multiple hit arcade games, such as Donkey Kong, Mario Bros, etc.
Mario Era[edit | edit source]
The NES was released in 1985, and was 'tendo's best-selling console.
After this, 'tendo begun to produce videogames, and only videogames.
Coal Era[edit | edit source]
Gamecube, the 'tendo's 4th console sold the least amount of units, but had an extremely huge array of licensed gems, despite the fact the games produced in house were absolute brimstone. GBA had a similar situation, but sold relatively well.
Super Mario Sunshine was the mario of this generation and it sucked because you couldn't long jump in it o algo
Any positive shilling you see for the GameCube is likely due to the retarded drooling Zillennial babas growing up to defend it on the internet. (Melee is broken and it fucking sucks)
Over the Hedge for the GameCube is the only good game ever released on the system
Wii Era[edit | edit source]
The Wii is the only good console 'tendo managed to develop, selling 101.63 million units worldwide. The Wii is truly a gemerald, despite having licensed coalslop just like the Gamecube ev&doe basically all consoles worth mentioning end up having licensedslop games
Enshittification[edit | edit source]
With the release of Wii U and Switch, the overall quality declined extremely, and this led to the formation of the current situation with 'tendo.
It is currently unknown if they will get any better someday.
- ↑ https://www.polygon.com/24090351/nintendo-2-4-million-yuzu-switch-emulator-settlement-lawsuit
- ↑ https://www.ign.com/articles/nintendo-wins-lawsuit-rom-website-romuniverse
- ↑ https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/30/23485811/nintendo-smash-world-tour-shut-down-event-tournament
- ↑ https://www.polygon.com/2020/12/7/22158534/nintendo-etikon-joy-con-controllers-shut-down-cease-and-desist
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyrOQb3g3As
