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Oldfag Dysphoria

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Not to be confused with Gender Dysphoria, but definitely to be associated with.

This page is a gem.


OH MY JAPANESE CULTURE!!!! THIS IS JUST LIKE MY TRANIME GREENTEXT VIDEOS!!!!!!
FUCK WOJACKSPAMMERS BTW I <3 LESBIAN HENTAI OF TWO DUDES
DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU SUDE
A Sufferer of Oldfag Dysphoria, displaying symptoms.

Oldfag Dysphoria is a condition that causes a person who browses imageboards to believe they have been using the board for a lot longer than most people on the site, or that they should have been "born" an oldfag but for some reason are a newGOD (or Newfaggot) instead. The affected may sometimes believe that the date he joined (Ex. 2019) is enough to qualify him/zim as an oldfag, even if most other users would not agree. Some sufferers may choose to identify as an oldfag, in other words, transitioning into becoming a "real" though that rarely ends up working out. The condition has seen a massive increase in recent years, and it is underlying cause is currently unknown. It is important not to call a sufferer a "newfag" or a "faggot", as this often leads to the suicide of the affected.

Symptoms[edit | edit source]

  • Use of archaic words or mannerisms
  • Obsession with brimmy oldfag memes and "culture" they read about on KnowYourMeme, such as Yotsuba, desu, longcat, W.T. Snacks etc.
  • Burning hatred for Wojaks and Soyjaks since they ruined 4chan or something
  • Bragging about being an oldfag
  • Making a website based off of a defunct altchan, and pretending its the original site
  • Downloading images with unix timestamp filenames that begin with 13 or 14 from 4chan archives and posting them, even though that would mean the image was first posted around 2011-2016
  • Posting threads about how [X] era was better, or responding to such threads
  • Being autistic

Origins[edit | edit source]

>OH MY FAUCI THIS IS LIKE MY SCPs or whatever

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On the 'arty[edit | edit source]

The sharty has recently become plagued by faggots who’ve read the ‘ki one time and now think that the sharty should still be a site about COVID-19 mandate discussions, impromptu Soot AMAs, niggerweed and trans rights. They will usually LARP as a soot era oldfag, alTHOUGH Kuz era ones aren’t too uncommon either. You WILL remind them of the the following trvths:

  • All real oldfags either got burnt out on the sharty and stopped using it, or moved on to other memes. Therefore, oldfag worship le bad because oldfags are selfish nigger fucks with no loyalty to the site that is supposed to transheart them so much (ev&oe I'm a sootfag from 2021 and still post daily[it just is, ok?]). In other words, oldfags are kikes
  • Being newGOD friendly makes 4cucks seethe which is le oldfag approved, just like my favorite KEKold website Reddit which also makes 4cuckoldry seethe
  • Dead memes are dead for a reason. They had their time, bringing them back will just serve to desecrate their corpse.
  • If they mention something about how /soy/ should be more IAS, point out how most of it already is, and making it more IAS isn’t really worth it at that point. Alternatively, remind them that no matter how many IAS diversity hire checkboxes a ‘jak fulfills, it will never be a true substitute for the real test of what makes a ‘jak good and what doesn’t: whether it’s funny. Bring up self-insert neutralplier threads too since those are technically IAS, but are still brimstone regardless (they just are chud).
  • some other shit I forgot about that I’ll post soon when I make /soy/ trolling tactics

Treatment[edit | edit source]

  • A sufferer of Oldfag Dysphoria beginning his Transition therapy for the day.
    Browsing Desuarchive and/or Encyclopedia Dramatica (even doe this only makes it worse)
  • Becoming a 4chan Janitor (this too makes it worse)

THE REAL TREATMENT (truke incoming)[edit | edit source]

  • Killing yourself (preferably livestreamed so I can laugh at you while you do it)
  • Coming to terms with the fact that you will never be an oldfag/young again
  • Sucking newGOD dick instead (though this can lead to problems, such as being a faggot)
  • Sucking your own dick even doe you will crack your back trying to do so

See Also[edit | edit source]


Notes[edit source]

  1. >BUT I MISS MUH OLD ROBLO -ACK!
Oldfag Dysphoria
is part of a series on
Mental health
>NOOOOOOOOOOO I DONT WANNA TAKE MY MEDS!
Illnesses and Conditions [-+]
Treatments [-+]

BBC therapyMedsDoctor's orders ♦ Eating the Bugs ♦ finding Jesus ♦ Landscape TherapyMeditationMental Asylum