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Poopson
Not to be confused with Shitjak
Poopson is a DEAD MEME | |||
Pay your respects here |
REST IN PISS POOPSON YOU DIDNT GET THE GET |
This topic was created by or has connections to Der 'Cord | |
Don't trust anything you see. Read every revision in the page's history to learn the truth. |
Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg! The following was likely written during a schizo episode. You WILL remind the author to take his meds. |
☯︎ ☸︎☞︎🕆︎👍︎😐︎🕿︎ ✆︎✋︎❄︎❀︎ ❝︎💣︎✡︎☯︎ ☸︎☠︎✋︎☝︎☝︎✌︎🕿︎ ✆︎✋︎❄︎🕯︎💧︎❀︎ ❝︎✌︎☠︎❄︎✋︎💣︎✌︎❄︎❄︎☜︎☼︎☯︎ ☸︎✏︎✏︎
Poopson is a hypothetical soyjak variant that is rumored and prophesized to be the coal that will destroy the sharty. (Do Not Provoke the Coalposter that will be behind this creation)
Poopson is being created RIGHT NOW by the United States federal government as a superweapon. He awaits use.
The original prophecy expected Poopson to be created around early 2024, possibly during the brimstone winter. Eventually this time period came and went without a new soyjak variant that could be unilaterally declared as Poopson, discrediting the original prophecy. Thoughever, Poopson's creation is still a realistic event, no matter what specific time it will be said to happen.
This variant is argued to be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst 'teens, possibly escalating into a deadly Soyvil War in an event known as The Pitfall. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and try to convince them that it's a gem variant. This variant will also gain traction amongst twitter users in a positive light. In a few days or so another Captain coal incident will happen except his name is Omega Vanta.[2] After that someone, will make a hardcore 'p poopson trace that enraged the site so much it shut down for 2 weeks, just to get spammed to hell with 'P from a very obscure imageboard.
But fear not! It is hoped that the gem that will save the sharty will be created a month or two afterwards. We still wait for the day that this fictional, metaphorical gem descends upon the multiverse in the form of either a troll or a great user, and brings hope and serenity to all of the world. Until that day comes, the sharty shall continue to collapse, and people who do not embrace the gem shall never understand, so stay woke to this prophecy!
Legitimacy[edit | edit source]
The prophecy was considered by some to be debunked on November 18th, 2023, when the post that John Soytor claimed would be poopson, >>5368164, came and went.[3] Others say that because of all the prophecies and warnings that came beforehand, our timeline has been changed and the release of Poopson has been delayed or canceled.
Origin[edit | edit source]
The Poopson myth originated on this very wiki on July 8, 2023, when a soyteen named User:ThusSprokeZarathustra didn't take his meds and experienced a vision warning him of the end of the sharty. This user created this page on the wiki that day which read:
Poopson is a name given to a prophesized variant rumored to be the coal that will destroy the sharty. It is expected to be created around Early 2024. This variant will be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst 'teens, inciting the 4th Soyvil War. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and convince them it [is] a gem variant. This variant will also gain traction amongst Twitter users in a positive light. But fear not about the damage caused by this variant, as the gem that will save the sharty will be released a month later.[4]
And from there the myth spread to the sharty.
The Original Poopson Post[edit | edit source]
Greeting Soyjak.party
I am from the future and I used this site around the time poopson was created. I can't tell you much because something +=bigger=+ will happen after it is created, but here's a summary
>Brimstone Winter 2024 happens
>Catalog looks normal until offsite raiders attack
>Someone makes an post with the caption "Fuck this shit website" with an file attached named Poopson.jpg
>It's the coalliest thing I ever seen on this site (Hence the effects and blurs I added)
>It doesn't gain much traction at first due the raid, but soyteens are in absolute shock
>The thread reaches around 800-1200 replies, but was deleted by jannies once someone posted a live stream of their suicide.
>Offsite raiders exploit this variants repulsiveness to create discontent amongst soyteens. Jannies attempt to delete all Poopson threads, but one dedicated man used a new method of solo-wiping the catalog by using a botnet (I don't exactly remember how he done it)
>Theories around poopson has emerge. Some say it was perfectly engineered by a 'cord to be so vantablack. Some say it was made by an upset 4cuck janny to take revenge. I remember someone saying it was made by a super upset soyteen after some recent drama that set the website in flames
That's all i'm going to say for now. Goodbye.
Observations[edit | edit source]
Due to the blurring of the image provided by the poster, not much is there to be observed. Despite the blurring though, we can see that Poopson.jpg is at least black and white, is facing forward, and has an open mouth. We can also see the first two digits of the post number, 53. This could possibly mean that this digit is the 5333333 GET and why this variant was so niggerstone. The post uses a +==+ markup while saying the word big. One can infer from this that bigtext is added to the sharty some time in the future (and the future is right fucking now), before Poopson wrecks the sharty.
It has been blurred due to its extreme repulsiveness, and the thread reached 800+ replies until jannies deleted it because a 'teen livestreams xer suicide. It is implied that this brimstone will be so terrible that it can cause people to commit suicide, a testament to its almost-supernatural strength.
It might be the first and only example of coal 2,[5][2] a type of coal stronger in magnitude than the current super vantablack gravestone on the 'ru[6] This is the type of coal that would almost directly prove the existence of Nigger Hell, and perhaps draw limited intervention from the CIA to muddy the waters.
It can only be hoped that the gem that saved the sharty is an example of gem 2, and completely kills off Poopson.
The blurred image in the original Poopson post was proven to be altered by the CIA.[19][20][21][22][23][24][25]
The Redditification of Poopson Lore[edit | edit source]
Recently, 'teens seeking refuge from Reddit have been adding dog shit onto Poopson lore by the truckloads. They are trying way too hard, are incompatible with the original details of Poopson, and will turn him into the backrooms and drive it into the ground before the real one is even revealed. Their attempts should be shamed, laughed at, and then they should be driven back to Reddit. All further backrooms-tier lore corruptions shall be ignored on the sharty and kept off of the wiki unless for the purpose of shaming and ridicule. Every Poopson not released early 2024 is NAP and all "future" posts should be discarded as fake and gay.
Poopson Soyjak[edit | edit source]
The original uncontaminated variant was first seen on da 'cord around October, but was later reposted in a contaminated edit onto the Sharty. This soyjak has been also given the nickname "Trannymare", a level lower than Poopson.
False Poopsons[edit | edit source]
There have been many false Poopsons made after the word of Poopson came out. Most were made by Poopsoncord, trolls, or [REDACTED] to trick users. Any "Poopson" you see is NOT Poopson. He will only be released in early 2024.
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The original false Poopson
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Another false Poopson
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An excessively vantablack slopjak labeled as Poopson's Brother
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Brojak, the most successful NAP
Brojak[edit | edit source]
Brojak, despite popular belief, is not a poopson. There are multiple reasons why brojak is not poopson. The first reason is that the original file is called "brojak.png" rather than "Poopson.jpg".[7] The second reason is that it was released on August 2023 rather than early 2024. And finally, it is also due to the fact that the development of the prophecy becoming true has occurred where in September, one month after the creation of Brojak, Froot added a new text format that allows big text exactly like how the OP of the original Poopson prophecy thread has attempted to use at the time where big text formatting has not been implemented yet.[8] The reason why many 'teens believed that it is poopson is due to the timing of the release of brojak, which was mere days before the Soypocalypse occured. Because of this, however, it can be considered as a "proto-poopson".
The Poopson Prophet himself has confirmed that brojak is not poopson and stated that poopson "makes brojak look like the gem that saved the party".[9]
Another False Poopson[edit | edit source]
This can be viewed here but it's just a mystery to what this is
Apocrypha[edit | edit source]
Main Article: Poopson/Apocrypha
Not included in OP. The legitimacy of these stories is in contention among Poopson prophets. The Soypocalypse has placed further doubt in these accounts.
Observations of the Apocrypha[edit | edit source]
This string of posts were originally posted in the same thread, and in quick succession. The posts get less serious as it continues, with none of it relating to Poopson, except for the 2023 and 2024 account. The main theme of these posts is how coal just gets coalier.
September 2023 and circa 2024[edit | edit source]
These are the most related to Poopson. According to these posts, Poopson is dark brown, and actually popular with normies, despite its doublevantablack, turboniggercoally nature. He is inspired by andyjak and cacason. The Sharty actually gets more popular, even though sharty killing coal is posted. Doll is still admin in 2024, which would mean he becomes admin of the Sharty again, which has been proven true. In essence, these accounts are sensical and don't conflict with the original post.
2026 to 2030[edit | edit source]
Mostly contains world politics. According to these accounts, the world as we know it ends in 2030 after Coal 3 is released.
Deuterocanon[edit | edit source]
Due to the Soypocalypse all of the previous accounts have been debunked by independent fact checkers,[10][11][12][13] the following are accounts that can still hold true following past events.
Discovery of the real Poopson[edit | edit source]
(fake btw)
GLOWING NIGGER ABOVE ME
The real poopson.jpg was reuploaded onto /soy/ on 31st July 2024(date not shown in the post, but using archive.marge.moe can confirm the date), and confirms that the John Soytor's image was falsified by the CIA
This also confirms that Poopson is 100% NAS Antimatter.
The Original Poster (John Soytor) Returns[9][edit | edit source]
Since this post comes from an alternate timeline, the details can't be deboonked in the future.
First Post[edit | edit source]
Hello again Soyjak.party
It looks like my showing up in the past has altered this timeline. I can't tell for certain what will happen in this timeline, but here's a few clarifications on what happens in my timeline
>Froot bought the 'party during the auction in July. The same group of Doll, 'Leno, and Froot take control
>The Soyumvirate (or Soybunal, as we call them in our timeline) fires Red after discovering xir involvement in der 'cord, preventing the IP leak that happened in your timeline
>The 'party does not go down, but there is a wave of 'p spam during which image uploads are disabled
>Brojak is not poopson. While brojak is undoubtedly brimstone, Poopson makes brojak look like the gem that saved the party
>Andyjak is likely a red herring. No such variant exists in my timeline, though it's possible whoever made that post is from the timeline created after my last visit
>Poopson is not a shitjak, despite the name. It is antialiased but otherwise black and white
>Poopson was not the 5333333 GET
>It's unclear whether the man who wiped the catalog was the one behind babybot or not
Don't give up hope. In my timeline at least, Poopson is not the end of the 'party. I won't risk saying more than that now. Goodbye.
Observations[edit | edit source]
The poster of this account claims that the timeline was altered by their meddling, and that they're the same as the original time traveler. In their timeline, the Soyumvirate gets formed earlier, or more precisely, at the time of the Second Great Purchase. This directly prevents the Soypocalypse because Red gets fired, but the sharty gets spammed with 'p to the point that images are disabled, which is similar to what happened in this timeline anyway. The poster clarifies that Poopson is antialiased, black and white, and not a GET. Basically, this post denies that the Apocrypha is true.
The post closes off on an optimistic, but ambiguous note.
Second Post [14][edit | edit source]
I am the original poster of the "prophecy", as well as the follow-up in the previous thread (proof below)
Poopson is not any one existing variant, but not a pure original or a pure composite either. It is an amalgam of reused parts of different 'jaks and original parts. I will not comment on what parts of which 'jaks were used or what the original parts looked like.
Also I'm no prophet. If you must call me something, call me John Soytor. I will be back soon.
Observations[edit | edit source]
The time traveler claims that the worst sharty killing antimatter to curse to the sharty is a frankenstein monster of existing jaks. The poster provides two images as proof that he is the original poster, consisting of his prior two posts with (you)s. Weirdly enough, one of the screenshots is him posting a screenshot with the (You) on the original post. Finally, the poster gives the name John Soytor for himself, a reference either to the self-proclaimed time traveler John Titor, or to Steins;gate, which itself references the John Titor legend.
The exact implications of this information is unknown, but it certainly spells a Splicejak fail.
Third Post[15][edit | edit source]
He is not the original poster, I am. That image was from the original image I posted. Second pic is proof it's me. Poopson was not AI generated, at least not entirely.
- John Soytor
Context[edit | edit source]
On September 4th, a user posted a comparison picture between the censored Poopson and a NAP AIjak claimed by the thread's OP to be Poopson. A 'teen saw this, and believed the poster of the comparison to be John Soytor. Soytor himself then came to deboonk this.
Observations[edit | edit source]
The phrase "at least not entirely" suggests the possibility that Poopson is partially AI-generated, but Soytor may also simply be be unsure.
Opposite of Poopson?[edit | edit source]
The sharty saving gem is theoretically Poopson's polar opposite, but since 'teens are selfish little fucks, we don't know much about said opposite, including its name, and whether it'll be some new variant, a particularly gemmy edit, or a video/SMV. (Hint: a new Variant, name was leaked Kikes, be faster next time.)
The Poopson Incident of 03.26.2024[edit | edit source]
The 6666666 GET is stolen by poopson. The site shuts down for a brief moment. Chaos and panic ensue. Multiple soyteens claim that they are going to commit suicide. Jannies immediately delete the image, but it's too late. As of writing this, the thread has reached 265 replies in 2 hours[16][17]. It's over.
For obvious reasons, the image is present on this page. you can also see the supposed image here: https://archive.fo/SREsf. Most witnesses in the thread claim that this is the image that OP posted.
9 Million GET Steal Prophecy[edit | edit source]
It has been prophesied that, in the month of November 2024, Poopson will steal the 9 million get on /soy/. It is unclear what led many soyteens to think this is the case. It is theorized that this is because of the GET steals previously done by offsiters such as, the 8 million GET. However, this prophecy was quickly disproven when, in early November, the 9 Million GET was stolen by wholesomejak which proved all other Poopson prophecies to be false and put the Poopson meme to rest permanently in the graveyard of dead memes.
Citations[edit source]
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230717190851/https://soyjak.party/soy/thread/3919202.html
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://archive.ph/6u90X
- ↑ https://archive.ph/IVftK
- ↑ https://soyjakwiki.net/index.php?title=Poopson_(Soyence_Denier%27s_Perspective)&oldid=38560
- ↑ Idk some 'teen explained coal 2 in relation to Poopson
- ↑ probably that soytan anus fingering music video, worst brimstone I've witnessed so far
- ↑ Brojak#/media/File:Brojakfirstcontact.png
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230902063301/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4527765.html
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 https://web.archive.org/web/20230902063030/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4538967.html No.4539711
- ↑ science.com/info/is-poopson-real/
- ↑ https://snopes.com/fact-check/poopson-released-chitwood/
- ↑ https://whitehouse.gov/announcements/partnering-with-soylutions
- ↑ https://cia.gov/files/soy/2023/operation-clean-stable-DECLASSIFIED.pdf
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230903044435/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4548748.html#4550284
- ↑ https://archive.ph/kTsWX
- ↑ https://archive.fo/vuCax
- ↑ https://ghostarchive.org/archive/n8xvj