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Sinking of the Soytanic
This page is a gem.
SS Soytanic sank on the North Soytlantic in its frigid waters. It has been the origin of many stories. Real or not, they're extremely slow burn, bone-chilling, spine-tingling, stomach-wrenching and emotionally-draining accounts of the fateful night. [1]
Background[edit | edit source]
The SS Soytanic, not to be confused with Soytan, was an ocean liner built by Froot Star Line. The ship was the biggest ship ever built. During its construction 50% of its budget mysteriously disappeared, with many corners in the ship's construction having to be taken, especially in the lifeboat number, which went from 20 boats, to only 2. Coincidentally around the same time, the new boat regulation stated that passenger ships would only need very few boats for their relative capacity. The ship was completed, and the seasoned veteran sea captain, Captain Coal would to take command of the ship on its maiden voyage, with chief officer Cobson being second in command, and officer 'plier being third in command . Many prominent figures would board the ship to New /soy/ including the company owner, Froot, Root, Kuz, Soot, the CIA, (((Jews))). The ship's passengers were divided by class. Many IAS and GEMS would go onboard in its maiden voyage, being part of the ship's first class. The NAS and COAL would also board, being part of the ship's second and third class, and they were far among the highest percentage of the passenger count.
Maiden Voyage[edit | edit source]
The ship departed from Soythampton, and went on its way to New /soy/. The first 4 days of the voyage were uneventful, with the only thing of note being the coal posting ravaging the lower decks of the ship, but was suppressed by the ship's crew.
Ice(((berg))) warnings[edit | edit source]
All of this changed in the fourth day. The SS Sneed began sending soygraphs to the Soytanic, around evening, warning them about an ice field on their way. The soygraph operators promptly told him to shut the fuck up, but warned the crew none the less, Sneed's soygraph operator went to sneed right after. The captain deemed that the whole thing was a nothingburger, and that nothing ever happens, and decided to ignore the warnings, and continue full steam ahead, pressured by Ismay Froot, that wanted the ship to reach New York as fast as possible, making headlines in the journals. The sea was unusually /calm/ making it hard to identify the bergs.
Collision[edit | edit source]
The lookouts were enjoying their /calm/ night in the soysnest, when suddenly they identify an iceberg straight in the ship's path. They immediately ring the bell, and call the bridge, saying the words "Iceberg right ahead!" the officer in charge at the time, Cobson, also having identified the iceberg immediately orders hard to port, and orders a full stop. The starts to turn, but unfortunately it was not enough, they had spotted it too late. The ship hit, and scraped through the side of the ship, causing damage in the soyholds and soyler rooms, and causing them to start flooding. He then orders a hard to starboard. Cobson then closes the soytight doors, trapping the NAS COAL workers in the flooding areas. Captain Coal immediately enters the bridge and asks what had happened. Cobson promptly tells him. Coal immediately orders a damage inspection, which would be made by officer 'plier. 'plier returns with the damage inspection, with the 'ail hold underwater, soyler room 6 also flooding. Captain then calls the ship's architect, 'drews in his cabin to head to the bridge immediately. Captain and Andrews go both inspect the damage personally. The soyler engineers start venting the steam, from the soilers, afraid of an explosion if the soylers enter in contact with the cold ocean water, they just will ok?.
It's Happening[edit | edit source]
After coming back from their inspection, Captain Coal and 'homas Soydrews discuss the damage in the charter room, the officers, and Froot were also in the room. "She can stay afloat with the first four soypartments breached, but not five." But then Froot exclaims "But this soyship can't sink! It has been proven by peer-reviewed studies!" Andrew then replies "She's made of iron sir, of course she can, and she will." "How many onboard, Mr Cobson?" Captain coal would ask him. "219Ϫ sovls, sir." "I believe you may get your (You)s Mr Froot."
The captain then orders the soygram operators to prepare to send a distress call, but to not send until he tells them to. Around this time, the ship's soymail sorters were trying to save as many replies as possible but it was hopeless, as the water was rising to where they were storing the 'eplies. At this time, 00:10, the weight of the water inside the ship was already bringing the ship down, giving it a noticeable trim. The captain then orders the boats to be swung out, the passengers to be mustered and to wear lifejakets, most were still inside, due to the fact the steam was venting from the funnels and it was le hecking loud, and it was le hecking cold. At around 00:15 they start distributing lifejakets to the passengers, but most thought it was a joke, because as always, nothing ever happens. At 00:25 captain Coal, then gives the order that the 'boats be filled with IAS and Gems first, the usual evacuation protocol for soyships. Afterwards, Coal goes to the soygraph room, and gives the operators their current position, and orders them to start sending the distress calls, he says that they may want to use the new distress protocol, IHG, which stands for, "It's Happening". At this point, the evacuation has begun.
The evacuation[edit | edit source]
Officer Cobson was charged with launching the starboard boats (only 1 geg). Chief officer Cobson would announce to the passengers in the deck:
"IAS and NAS your attention please! Thank you. For the time being i shall require IAS and Gems first. NAS and Coal, stay exactly where you are."
Cobson would then let Babyjak in as he is only a baby, he would be the first passenger loaded into the lifeboat. He then let in a doctor, since he had medical skills. A passenger would ask for crack for some reason. He would then allow Chang in. And then Kuz would be allowed into the boat, but he would not stay in it for long. He would allow feral feraljak in, and would announce, probably due to the initial lack of Gems and IAS in the deck:
"IRON AND NAS ARE NOW ALLOWED TO BOARD THE BOAT!"
Cobson would deny entry for an amerimutt, due to concerns he would tear the ropes holding the boat if he were to enter. He then lets Pepe, and giga imp into the boat. A Sobotjak would ask Cobson if he could be let in, and he exlaimed: "IRON AND NAS ARE NOW ALLOWED, NOT COAL!" the boat was about 25% filled at this point, it was 1:00.
While all this was happening in the boat deck, in the lower decks there was much tension between the ship's stewards and the NAS and Coal passengers, which wanted to go to the upper decks, due to their cabins being flooded. A brutal fight between the ship's stewards and second and third class passengers would occur, following a riot by the steerage passengers.
Officer Cob, again due to the few gems on deck, lightens the 'boats restricions;
"COAL ARE NOW ALLOWED TO BOARD!"
He lets Sobotjak in. An angel asks officer Cob if he needs any help. Cobson asks him to call Gems that are inside the ship to the boat deck. Fnf brimstone asks him: "beep bop. soy tan. lo ve to go on." , he replies with: "Brimstone stay until all the coal, NAS, IAS and gems are off!" The angel returns with a young man, the young man says: "ship is sinking? this is nothingburger as always." and would refuse to board the boat. A IAS passenger asks if he can get in, Cobson replies: "GET IN IAS!" Cobson also replies to the young man's comment "GET IN! ITS HAPPENING! THIS SHIP IS GOING TO BE ON THE SEA FLOOR IN 1 HOUR! THE SOYTIGHT COMPARTMENTS HAVE BEEN BREACHED!", urging him to board the 'boat. An impjak sailor arrives in the scene, and asks the officer if he can board. A mega ultra cuck supreme Soyboy, says: "Onions". Cobson allows them both in, and orders the sailor to man the boat.
Around this time, officer 'plier informs the captain about some ship lights in the horizon, just off the ship's bow. Captain Coal then orders rockets to be fired, and to communicate with the ship with the ship's soy lamps. It is widely accepted by peer-reviewed studies, that the ship they were seeing was SS Sneed. The SS Sneed also had stopped due to reaching an ice field, the same field the 'oytanic had entered, a few hours earlier.
