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Swolesome Soyjak
The Swolesome Soyjak is a particularly Wholesome Buffjak who works as an orderly at the mental asylum and hunts wildlife. Swolesome Soyjak is known for being the only Soyjak ever known to defeat a wild, fully grown fingerboy in unarmed combat, making him famous among the soyjak community.[1] In addition to this, Swolesome Soyjak works at the asylum and helps restrain patients and hunt down escapees. Swolesome Soyjak is currently searching for the doctor-turned-escaped patient Dr. Soyowad. He is also the designated Soylent bottle-opener at the asylum, due to those difficult lids.
Daily Workout Routine[edit | edit source]
Swolesome Soyjak has an exceptional physique and gets more exercise than almost any other soyjak. Here's an example of the exercise he does throughout the day to maintain his incredible musculature:
- Opens hundreds of Soylent bottles for patients, asylum workers, and himself
- Pulls the meds wagon through the asylum[2]
- Does 10 soy-milk gallon curls (two-handed)
- 1 mile slow walk
Diet[edit | edit source]
Here's a typical day of eating for Swolesome Soyjak:
- Pre-workout: Four scoops of Satan Nigger Rape Madness brand soy protein pre-workout supplement (1200~ mg caffeine)
- Post-workout: Impossible Whopper with no toppings
- Lunch: Food (Japan (100% authentic bone-chilling slow-burn sushi with no childish cream cheese or spicy mayo))
- Breakfast for Dinner: Fake Steak and Gay Eggs
